Mar 17, 2020

Ep 95: Stop People Pleasing and Live Life On Your Own Terms

Show Notes


stop people pleasing and live life on your own terms

Have you ever thought about what it looks like to actually live life on your own terms? That might sound simple, but if we’re honest, most of us have a hard time actually doing it.

I love to do things on my own terms. And because of that, I’ve done a few things that you might say are a little . . . weird. For instance, when I came home from college, Dancing With the Stars was in its first season. One week, an advertisement popped up for Latin and ballroom dance lessons in Nashville, and I thought, I think I’ll do it. So, I did. For almost two years, I took Latin and ballroom dance lessons, and I even competed in a dance competition. Now that’s weird.

But that’s not the only weird thing I’ve done. When all my friends were living in the city, I moved to a 40-acre farm with fainting goats, horses, and a mini donkey. While my friends were working their corporate jobs, I was mucking stalls. That’s not normal.

And then I decided I wanted to play soccer. So I went to the YMCA in my area and signed up for the adult league. I didn’t have a team to play with, so they put me on a team with all Guatemalan men who spoke no English. And it was one of the most fun experiences of my life (not to mention, my Spanish got really stinking good).

It was amazing how all of these experiences, though weird, were a lot of fun. But what was even more important was that they were things I wanted to do. They were things that were true to me.

Here’s what’s interesting: Not everyone is quite as comfortable being a little weird, going against the “normal” logical path and plan for their lives, and doing some things that might be different.

Do you struggle with this? Maybe you feel like it’s not logical or practical to do something different. Maybe you’re worried about what people might think.

Friend, I don’t want you to wait until it’s too late to decide that you want to live your life. I don’t want to look back with that regret and feel like I always made the safe choice or did what other people thought I should do and I’m guessing you don’t either.

Do you know that your life is just that—yours? You don’t just have the right to create the life you want. You have the responsibility to. No one can change your life. You have everything you need and all the power in the world to make different decisions today about who you are and what you want for your life, your family and your future.

You have permission to create a life that looks like who you are. You can be true to yourself without worrying about what everyone else thinks that you should be.

4 Areas of Life Where You Can Live True to Yourself

I want to give you four practical areas to explore in your own life that will help you be true to yourself. Maybe you’re already doing it. Maybe you feel confident in all these areas, but maybe not. Maybe as we walk through these, you’ll start to look at these different areas of your life and realize you’re making decisions based on what other people think. And if you are, would you do anything differently?

1. Career

You have the right and responsibility to pursue a career that’s right for you. You don’t have to choose between being happy and making money. You actually can do both, believe it or not. So, what’s the right career path, business path or money-making income path for you? How could you use your skills and gifts and talents in a way that could provide income for your life and your family?

2. Family

So, what does your family look like right now? What are some of the values you hold in your family? What are some of the decisions you make in your family? What does your day-to-day schedule look like? You have a right and responsibility to make your family look like anything you want it to. So, what does that look like for you?

3. Finances

When it comes to money, we often spend money in a way that other people expect us to, whether that’s shoes, home decor, or even where you send your kids to school. We often spend money to create a lifestyle that reflects what other people expect of us. But what if you didn’t? What if you were weird?

What changes do you need to incorporate in order to manage your finances in a way that’s true to you? Where your money is going is a reflection of your values, not someone else’s. So where are you spending your hard-earned money?

4. Fun

What’s fun to you? What’s exciting to you? What interests you? What gives you joy and brings you energy? What makes life worth living? If we’re not careful, we’ll get so busy keeping up with the to-do list of life that we forget to live it. So it’s up to you to create the fun.

So, what’s fun for you? What are some hobbies you love? What are some things you can do with your family?

Here’s the deal: If you want a different life, you have to create it. No one can do that for you. Look at your career, your family, your finances, and what’s fun for you and begin to create a life that you love and are proud of.

Taking Control of Your Life with Chris Hogan

Chris-HoganI’m so excited for you to meet my good friend and fellow Ramsey Personality Chris Hogan. He’s the host of The Chris Hogan Show and #1 national bestselling author of the books Retire Inspired and Everyday Millionaires. Chris is an expert on taking control of your life and money, and that’s exactly what we’re going to be talking about today.

On this episode, Chris and I talk about:

  • Money decisions that can affect every other area of your life
  • Getting out of the day-to-day grind and not letting life happen to you
  • Creating the courage and confidence you need to live life on your own terms
  • Replacing fear with gratitude

Challenge: Make Time for What’s Important

I’ve been noticing a pattern recently. I speak to women at all different ages and all different stages of life. And here’s one phrase that they just keep saying over and over and over again: “Well, when things slow down, I’m going to (fill in the blank).” When things slow down . . . again and again and again.

The belief that is buried beneath this statement is that things will slow down on their own, right? Y’all, they never do. Things are never going to slow down unless you slow them down. Nothing in your life will change unless you change it. Do you understand that? It’s not going to change on its own. It’s up to you. Don’t buy into the lie of “when things slow down,” because you and I both know that things will never slow down.

If you’re waiting to have time left over to put toward what’s important to you, you’ll never do it. Instead, I want you to make time for what’s important to you.

1:16 Find Ways To Do More of What You Love and Less of What You Don’t

9:19 Four Areas of Life Where You Can Live True to Yourself

19:14 Taking Control of Your Life with Chris Hogan

39:41 Challenge: Make Time for What’s Important

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