When I am out in public and someone recognizes me (which does not happen that often by the way!), I hear the same thing pretty often. It’s a funny compliment but it’s one of my very favorites. My new friend often says, “I feel like we are best friends!” And since it’s my personal life goal to make everyone my best friend, I feel very happy with this news.
But what they are really saying is, “You get me.”
And in business and life, isn’t that one of the best things we can hear from those people we exist to serve? “You get me.” Connection. Understanding. Empathy. Trust. Support. What gifts those are in any relationship.
But how do you do that? How do you make your customers or your audience feel like you “get” them?
That’s exactly what I want to teach you in this blog today. If you want to connect with your customers on a completely different and much more meaningful level, you just need to know the answers to two questions.
I have used these two questions in every single coaching session I’ve ever conducted, in every event I’ve ever spoken at, and in every setting in which I needed to influence or lead others. They are two simple questions, but they give you incredible insight into the audience you want to connect with. If you want to lead a group of people, you need to know:
- What frustrates them.
- What motivates them.
You need to know what frustrates them. What problems do they have? What pain points do they experience? What fears, challenges, stresses and worries do they have?
You also need to know what motivates them. What fires them up and gets them excited? What is their why? What makes them light up and gets them out of bed in the morning? What makes it all worth it for them?
When you know what frustrates your audience, you can speak to that. This is where you can highlight the problem and you can demonstrate empathy, understanding and compassion. You can offer help, solutions and support.
When you know what motivates your audience, you can speak to that also. You can come alongside them and align yourself with their goals and dreams. You can rally with them, cheer them on and champion them in what matters the most to them.
And this goes without saying, but I’m going to say it anyway: This is not a formula on how to manipulate. These questions are a guide for how to connect with, understand and serve others better. You need to always have an authentic desire to serve and a heart to help. These questions are simply tools in your toolbox to help you be more effective in doing that.
What frustrates them? And what motivates them?
That’s the secret sauce to connecting. (And now, if you pay attention, you’ll catch me speaking to these exact things with the audience I lead!)
So as you’re thinking about your customers, start thinking about the answers to these two questions. What frustrates them? And what motivates them? If you can keep that in mind, it will change not only your marketing, sales and customer service, but it can also change your entire relationship with your customers. They may even come up to you when they see you out and hug your neck. But it’s not weird, because even though y’all have never met, you’re totally best friends.