Something’s Gotta Give

I don’t have a baby book for Carter. I have all of his doctor records, hospital handprints, and a little journal where I jot down his progress every now and then, but I don’t have a baby book. I thought I would start one on my maternity leave, and I didn’t.

I also never took him to a pumpkin patch this past fall. We didn’t even buy a pumpkin for our house last year. I don’t know why, but I really was so excited to take him to a pumpkin patch. Fall is my favorite season, and I also feel like the obligatory pumpkin patch baby picture is an absolute necessity in motherhood. But I didn’t do it.

There have been a lot of things that “good mothers” do that I haven’t done.

But when your time, money and energy are finite, something’s gotta give.

You physically cannot do it all—not all of the brilliant ideas on Pinterest and Facebook, not all of the things your friends are doing for their kids, and not even all of the things you want to do! You’re always going to have to make choices. The reality is that I gave up some things so that I could do other things.

Instead of giving in to the mom-guilt and dragging around that heavy shame, I’m going to remind myself of what I have done.

During my maternity leave, I didn’t make a baby book for Carter. Instead I trained for a marathon in order to get back into my pre-pregnancy shape. And exactly 12 weeks after having an emergency C-section, I crossed the finish line for a half-marathon in under two hours. That is a choice I made that I’m not only okay with, it’s one that I’m proud of.

In October, I didn’t take Carter to a pumpkin patch. But what I did do was travel all over the country, speaking and teaching and letting God use me to change lives through my work. On some of those trips, I even brought my son with me and allowed him to experience the world and see his mom work in her God-given gifts. That is something I’ll never apologize for or regret. He’s actually been to seven states and he’s a year old.

And of course in between all of that we’ve had plenty of park days, library days, play dates and other adventures all of which add up to a lot of important quality time.

What about you? Sure, there may be a long list of things that you feel like you’ve fallen short on in parenting or anything else in life. But friends, our time is and always will be finite. So something will always have to give.

Instead of focusing on all that you haven’t done, didn’t fit in, or didn’t get to, think about all that you have done. I bet in place of all of those things you feel like you “failed” on, there are shining examples of things you succeeded in. It’s just a matter of taking your eyes off of what you didn’t get to and focusing them on what you did do.

Because you know and I know, in the choices we make every day, something will always have to give.


For more on work-life balance, come see Christy Wright LIVE at her three-day Business Boutique event in Nashville this November 2-4!